i permit you to call me
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
