bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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