i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
dude. I can hear the air.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
