Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Someone signed my nipple.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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