I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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