I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
