I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize