She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
