i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
