Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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