Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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