i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
