I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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