why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
