I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize