I'm lost and stupid without you.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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