the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
