Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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