I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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