It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
