if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
