im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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