I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
