Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
