what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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