I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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