hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
