About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
