??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
my shit smells like andre
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
