You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
