He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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