if you like me you must not know who I am
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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