Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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