that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
