Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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