I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
