I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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