I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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