Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
apparently the secret to your success is patron
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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