Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
