Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
