i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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