We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
