definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
