the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
