So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
