proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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