addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i dont even know how to be here
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
