It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
