It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Pants are for mortals
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
