Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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