i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
