the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize