I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
