i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
