Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
