You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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