Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
