Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
